Jb's Blog

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Abusive Relationships Kill

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A woman I knew from work was evidently in an abusive relationship. I was not aware of that fact until today. Until it was too late to do anything to help her get out of it.

wendy_mckinneyAccording to news reports, and word I got at work today, Wendy and her boyfriend, Billy, checked into a hotel on Monday evening. Today on Wednesday, she was found dead in her hotel room’s bathroom a little before noon. And Billy has not been seen since he was spotted leaving the hotel on security footage around midnight Tuesday night. Police say that the couple had a history of domestic violence.

Had I known Wendy was in an abusive relationship, I don’t know that I would have been able to help her get out of it. I doubt it, because usually women who have been in that situation for a good while have a strong propensity to stay, despite all the encouragement they get to leave from concerned family and friends, until it’s simply too late. I doubt I could have helped, but I could have tried, if I’d only known.

If you are a woman who is in an abusive relationship, please get out of it. Please get away from it. Please get people to help you get out from under it. Let someone help get you to a shelter where you can find protection and begin to recover and reclaim your Life. If he’s abusing you, he does not love you, no matter what he may tell you, and no matter how many times he may say it. Staying in the relationship is NOT going to change him… YOU are not going to change him, no matter what he claims to the contrary. And please, above all, know that YOU are not to blame for what he does to you. His choices to do what he does cannot be your responsibility… they are his choices alone. Leave. Find the strength to leave now.

If you are a man who is abusive in a relationship, please get help. Do yourself, your significant-other, and the rest of the world a favor and get help. Stop perpetrating violence on the woman you claim to love. You don’t have the right to claim the life of another human being, even one you think you “own.”

If you know someone in an abusive relationship, whether it be the victim or the perpetrator of violence, don’t stand idly by because you feel too awkward to do anything. Do something. Try. You’ve got to try, even when it means running the risk of making someone angry with you for your attempt to get involved in “their” business. Abusive relationships kill. And even before they get to that point, they rob people of so very much. Do something to stand in the way of anyone else ending up like Wendy.

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Written by jb

November 12, 2009 at 1:00 am

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